Rumors On The Internets: The Answer Is Always ‘C’

* Chuck Hagel will announce his ’08 candidacy on Monday. Or he’ll do something else. Or he’ll do nothing. [Political Wire]
* Iranian defense minister defects to U.S. with decades of knowledge of government-backed terror operations, secret hummus recipe. [Passport]
* Scooter’s SCOTUS drinking buddies control whether he’ll have new soap-on-a-rope shower buddies. [Inside Court TV]
* It takes more than just a flat head to get Jon Tester’s hair like that. [The Sleuth]
* Air America knows you’re no one until you failed spectacularly, twice. [MoJo]
* Pete Domenici’s new lawyer feels the same way. [TPM Muckraker]
* They may not be real Mitt Romney supporters, but they play ‘em on the Internet. [techPresident]
* Henry Kissinger uses panel discussions on global poverty to get ass. [Radar]
* Monopolist talks competitiveness with communist congressmen — yay America! [The Swamp]