Mass. State Senator Unleashes Devastating “I’m Rubber, You’re Glue” Defense

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America's sexiest MassholeWe knew it was time to embrace State Government Asshole day at Wonkette when this tip ended up in our mailbox. Seems that Scott Brown, a Massachusetts state senator who opposes gay marriage, had some foul language written about him and his daughter (an American Idol contestant) by high school students on the Facebook page of a pro-gay-marriage history teacher. Naturally, he responded the way any mature adult in a position of authority would: by appearing at an assembly at the school that the kids attended and reading aloud their obscenity-laden comments, with their names, while horrified teachers begged him to stop.

Later, Brown reiterated his long-held belief that being an asshole is fun.

“If the kids can write it, the kids can hear it,” Brown said Friday.
Brown said he left the school Thursday feeling pleased that so many of the students seemed highly engaged in the discussion about divisive issues such as gay marriage. “I felt really good about it. And now I find out I’m being portrayed as a vile-speaking hate-monger. It’s pretty saddening. I feel very badly that I’m being victimized here.”

Brown has given various conflicting answers when asked exactly he found the offending comments in the first place, which means that he no doubt enjoys trolling Facebook for those who write unpleasant things about him and then hounding them relentlessly like the Furies of ancient Greek mythology.

While picking on the dude’s daughter is not very nice, we have no compunctions about pointing out the fact that Brown won some kind of “Hunkiest He-Hunk” contest in Cosmo in 1982, which resulted in the photo spread you see above there. All that man meat is for the ladies only, though. STOP GAY MARRYING HIM WITH YOUR EYES, HOMOS!

Senator repeats bad language written about him [Boston Globe]
Senator’s actions were out of line [Mansfeild News]
More sexy Scott Brown pictures [MySpace]

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger


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  • Way Cool Larry

    Wow– clearly he is the heir-apparent to the Kennedy senate seat!

  • Katydid

    Look, I enjoy tormenting anti-gay closeted Republicans as much as anyone else, but I don’t need to see the senatorial pubes, unless a Dem’s twisting them. And even, make the sausage behind closed doors, for God’s sakes.

  • Brendan M.

    I guess Brown’s rise to power was predicted long ago…