Wonkette
Panic! There’s SNOW outside! As the federal government struggles to cope with this strange, cold, slippery water-like substance that’s coated every exposed surface of the city, employees everywhere are being sent home early — so no one’s reading us!The government closed an hour ago, actually, so if you’re still working now, you’re a sucker (or a blogger).
Ominous that this terrifying “frozen rain” should happen on the same day as last year’s paralyzing storm.
Obviously, terror is to blame. Terror and the fact that everyone in Washington is a giant pussy.