TERRORISM  5:46 pm February 9, 2007

Cartoon Network Head Takes Responsibility for Lite-Brite Attack, Steps Down

by Alex Pareene

Jim Samples, head of Time Warner’s Cartoon Network, stepped down in disgrace today in the wake his his companies foiled terrorist attack on Boston.

He said he felt “compelled to step down, effective immediately, in recognition of the gravity of the situation that occurred under my watch.”

Samples masterminded the sneak attack on Boston’s major infrastructure, paying two criminal masterminds an unknown sum to plant devices equipped with dangerous “Lite-Brite” technology around the city. A vigilant Bostonian found the devices a scant two weeks after their installation, and soon the entire city was in a panic at what stoned teenagers across the country immediately recognized as Mooninites from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

And now, finally, America is safe. Except from the beatniks.

Cartoon Network Head Steps Down [AP via Yahoo]

 
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