Perhaps the greatest symbol of our nation’s highest court, the dope-addict floozy Anna Nicole Smith keeled over dead in a Florida hotel about an hour ago. We’ve been too upset to post, obviously — plus it took a while to come up with a possible Wonkette angle. Turns out we’ve posted dozens of items about the beloved entertainer! She was basically the American Dream in the flesh.
Let’s pay our respects to “Mrs. Smith Who Came To Washington,” after the jump.
Last May, the Supreme Court ruled 9-0 for the bosomly stripper. The case had something to do with how she married a very old rich man who immediately died and left her his fortune. America prevailed!
For a town “down in the dumps,” Anna Nicole was a big fat blast of fresh air. She brought glamor to our crumbling capital, tingling nerves to the shriveled old genitalia of our Supreme Court justices, and a song of hope to Washington’s many poor & ignorant citizens.
She made Washington laugh again. Farewell, Ms. Fun Bags!
The tragic final question, of course, is whether David Souter will sack up and raise the baby.
Selected Wonkette ANS Coverage:
* So That’s How She Got a Unanimous Supreme Court Win
* Anna Nicole Smith: The Morning After
* Where to Stalk Anna Nicole Smith Tonight
* ‘All Rise! Worship of Anna Nicole Smith Is Now In Session!’
* Mrs. Smith Goes to Washington: Blonde Bombshell Explodes at One First Street!
* Anna Nicole Smith Proceeds Pro Se in the Supreme Court
* If a Tree Falls In the Forest …