Boy, just when you think Reverend Sun Myung Moon — cult leader, Messiah, owner of the Washington Times, and king of the ocean — can’t get any weirder, he goes and becomes a shark poacher.

Federal prosecutors scored a coup last week when Reverend Kevin Thompson, Bay Area leader for the Unification Church — aka the Moonies — was sentenced to one year behind bars for running the world’s largest baby-leopard-shark poaching ring. But previously undisclosed evidence suggests that the conservative newspaper publisher and church supreme leader Reverend Sun Myung Moon both knew of and encouraged Thompson’s illegal operation.

Dudes, the guy is the king of the sea. He can poach any fucking “baby leopard sharks” he wants! He’s like a tiny Korean Aquaman with a great deal of influence among American conservatives, you know, those sharks like it.

The Man vs. Moon [East Bay Express]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
Previous articleStoners, Media Conglomerate Responsible for Boston Bomb Hoax
Next articleJoe Baca Calls Loretta Sanchez a Whore, Democrats Continue to Be Bestest Majority Party Ever