Ever since they appointed that dude with metal teeth Undersecretary of Defense and Dick Cheney took to calmly stroking his white Angora cat during public appearances the Bush adminsitration has been way less careful about not presenting themselves as the cartoonish supervillains they actually are. So it should come as no surprise that their preferred solution to the global climate change crisis involves, yes, blocking the sun with giant space mirrors.
Scientists have previously estimated that reflecting less than 1% of sunlight back into space could compensate for the warming generated by all greenhouse gases emitted since the industrial revolution. Possible techniques include putting a giant screen into orbit, thousands of tiny, shiny balloons, or microscopic sulphate droplets pumped into the high atmosphere to mimic the cooling effects of a volcanic eruption.
These techniques were apparently brainstormed by an all-star committee of character-actor mad scientists led by Donald Pleasance and Max von Sydow. Other recommendations of the Blofeld Committee include:
* Blowing up the sun.
* Encasing America in a giant, air-conditioned platinum dome — that is ever-so-slowly shrinking.
* Gigantic razor-sharp pendulum to be used against people who don’t carpool.
* Awesome car chases. But with hybrids or some shit.