Wonkette

Beloved capitool bar Smith Point is on fire! DCFD is on the scene! Late Night Shots people are blaming, obviously, this website! Here are some comments:* its def. on fire and DCFD is on the scene…
* I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW. IS SP OKAY? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GO STAND OUTSIDE AND GIVE UPDATES.
* I totally left my gf passed out in there. Shit, I hope she’s ok, or dead. I don’t really want to have to date her if she’s covered in burns or shit. Plus I could use that $500 a week I give her for Brutini loafers and ’skiing’
* that bitch wonkette burned it down. or those two gay dudes that run it now. i’d call them what they are but i dont want to lose my job on grey’s anatomy.

Somebody send us some cell-phone pictures, for God’s sake! We aren’t going to Georgetown right now, because we’re “tired” from last night.