Rumors On The Internets: April Still Cruelest Month

* Ancient Canadian comic to host White House correspondents’ dinner — thanks, Stephen Colbert! [E&P]
* Attack on Iran, come she will. [Arab Times]
* Don’t ever change, The Note. You’re perfect just as you are. [Think Progress]
* Mark Warner can quit campaigning anytime, really, he just likes it. [Hotline on Call]
* John McCain’s two favorite things: “straight talk” and when Wolf swirls his tongue. [Media Matters]
* Return of the “The Fairness Doctrine” could force all broadcast news to resemble Fox. [Captain's Quarters]
* War on drugs: still the undisputed champion of unwinnable wars. [Hit & Run]