RICK SANTORUM  11:37 am January 9, 2007

Santorum Paid Big Bucks to be Scared of Everyone

by Alex Pareene

Everyone calm down — Rick Santorum found a job! He’ll be paid a lot of money to “work” for the Ethics and Public Policy Center, a group whose name has once again made the Top Ten Most Ironically-Named DC Think Tanks list. The former Pennsylvania Senator will be directing the center’s brand-new “America’s Enemies program.” The program’s mission is to make as many enemies as possible and try to convince people to be terrified of them.

“It’s a stark name,” says Santorum. “But we wanted to be candid about the fact that America really does have enemies and to point out that the nature of these enemies is much more complex than what people realize. It’s not just Islamic fascism, but also Venezuela, North Korea, and, increasingly in my opinion, Russia.”

Nominations for future Enemies may be sent to the EPPC. The current shortlist for Enemies ’07 also includes:

* Cuba
* China
* Yemen
* Tajikistan
* Belgium
* Mexico
* Trans-fats
* Senator Bernie Sanders
* Weather
* Gas

Rick’s Return [NRO]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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