Wonkette

NewsMax just shot out a breaking news e-mail bulletin: USS Gerald Ford Needs Your Help! Of course, there is no USS Gerald Ford, which is why it needs your help so bad.Apparently there’s a new aircraft carrier that the Pentagon will name sometime next month. Because Ford quietly brought so much evil and ineptitude upon America — Cheney, Rumsfeld, surrender in Vietnam, Whip Inflation Now, the Chevy Chase Show, pardoning Nixon, etc. — there’s a sudden make-believe movement to get Ford’s name painted on the side of this new warship. Sign the petition today! And nothing goes better with a dead pretend president’s aircraft carrier than a commemorative baseball cap.

Name the USS Gerald R. Ford! [NewsMax]