Congressman Assures Constituent: “I Will Deport Keith Ellison”

Aug8013.jpgAs other fire-breathing southern conservative Republicans have become entirely too predictable in their rhetoric and pet causes, Rep. Virgil Goode has managed to take a couple of the old tropes and spin them into something fantastically backwards and offensive.

To start with, it’s a letter responding to a constituent who never actually wrote him. Just take a look…

Dear Mr. Cruickshank:

Thank you for your recent communication. When I raise my hand to take the oath on Swearing In Day, I will have the Bible in my other hand. I do not subscribe to using the Koran in any way. The Muslim Representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don’t wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran. We need to stop illegal immigration totally and reduce legal immigration and end the diversity visas policy pushed hard by President Clinton and allowing many persons from the Middle East to come to this country. I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped.

The Ten Commandments and “In God We Trust” are on the wall in my office. A Muslim student came by the office and asked why I did not have anything on my wall about the Koran. My response was clear, “As long as I have the honor of representing the citizens of the 5th District of Virginia in the United States House of Representatives, The Koran is not going to be on the wall of my office.” Thank you again for your email and thoughts.

Sincerely yours,
Virgil H. Goode, Jr.

It’s actually kind of admirable that Goode appears to have written the letter himself, and then sent it, for some reason, to the head of the local chapter of the Sierra Club. So while we don’t understand how we got from Keith Ellison to immigration, or where this imaginary Muslim student came from, we totally support The Virgil Goode Position on Immigration and Other Things Tangentially Related to That, Like the Koran.

Goode Makes Complete Ass of Self [C-Ville]

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