Ken Jennings Will Be a Great President

Beloved Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings is running for president! Well, not really “running,” but he does say if Wonkette’s DRAFT JENNINGS (NOT WAYLON, NOT PETER, ONLY KEN) campaign actually works, he will simultaneously refuse the nomination and serve just like Reagan, by taking naps all day long.

Think how little damage a Sleeping President would do … and then, forget about the myriad operators who would show up to take advantage of a Sleeping President. Could we please have a president who is a) Alert and b) Not a power-mad nut like Hugo Chavez or Tony Blair? Also, we would like a president who writes his name in a funny way each day, speaks Spanish and appears to have a family that actually likes him.

Comma chameleon [Ken Jennings]