Rumors On The Internets: And Club a Baby Seal While You’re At It

* Matt Damon wants to do things to Dick Cheney that Jason Bourne hasn’t even heard of. News Busters]
* James Baker grabs ass and ankles for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, hilarious historically poignant metaphor ensues. [YouTube]
* Macaca: man of the year. [Salon]
* Soldiers choose John Kerry’s wind-bagging over peeling potatoes, learn hard lesson about regret. [Blackfive]
* Iraq:Afghanistan::War on Christmas:War on Hanukkah. [Radosh]
* Ari Fleischer wants to be a congressman. [Political Wire]
* Damn the man! Save the interwebz! [YouTube]