Wonk’d is in a festive mood and the famous-for-DC kids in this week’s installment have been spotted doing the exact same thing you’ve been doing these past few weeks: stuffing food in their faces at a hectic pace. Harold Ford likes upscale chain eateries, Tom Delay indulges his delusions of grandeur by lunching on the Senate side, and actual celebrity Matt Damon drops a few hundred bucks on a dinner he could’ve gotten for $4.99 from a local burrito joint. Lots more, including Dennis Hastert ordering the red and green curry, after you rip open the presents.
The bigger the cheese someone is in Washington the more parties they get invited to and the more little cheese cubes they eat at them. So keep your camera-phone ready when you’re loading that Carr’s cracker within an inch of its Brie covered life and send us the snap along with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line and a terse little narrative about what the hell else you saw. Then read yourself here the following Friday, email the link to your friends, become popular and loved, etc. You’re welcome!
* Where did Dennis Hastert go to dinner to celebrate stepping down as Speaker of the House and being sort of exonerated by the Ethics Committee in PageFuckerGate? Why, the Old Siam Thai restaurant on 8th St. SE, of course! Denny and entourage (it looked to be maybe an aide and a couple of security detail guys) showed up at the restaurant near Eastern Market about 8:40 PM on Friday night [12/8]. I don’t know why a neighborhood Thai joint would be his dinner of choice on this momentous day. Maybe somebody told him it was a good place to pick up smooth Asian boys, who can be so comforting after a stressful lame-duck session.
* I sat next to Matt Damon at CitiZen restaurant in the Mandarin Hotel last night!
* Sat by Harold Ford while he was having lunch [12/10] at the bar at the Chevy Chase Cheesecake factory. He was with another guy and it looked like they were doing some Christmas shopping.
* Mary Landrieu cut me off [12/10] at 22nd & M in her giant silver GMC Yukon, after repeated attempts to nearly run us off the road! She just had to get to the Ritz Carlton. Sans makeup she was barely recognizable.
* I was at my favorite barber shop in McLean [12/10], when in walks Bill Kristol , looking somewhat shaggy and in need of a haircut. He came in carrying a copy of the NY Post – is there any wonder that this guy has a warped view of the world?
* Saw Tom Delay having lunch at America Cafe in Union Station [12/13]. He’s sitting with an older guy whom I think I should know, but I don’t. Anyway, Tom looks like the smug cunt we all know and loathe.
* Saw Denver Nuggets coach George Karl standing outside the Ritz-Carlton [12/13], talking on his cell phone, wearing a black and silver track suit. In person, his scar is frighteningly deep, almost as if his head at any moment could flop back in half like the head of Benicio Del Toro’s character did from its severed neck in ” Sin City.”
* A very special, probably imagined Wonk’d sighting:
Tonight, at 8:30, my boyfriend and I were at California Pizza Kitchen to get some takeout.
Around 8:40, we were sitting waiting for our order when a short man with perfect grey hair and a weathered face came in and looked right at me, kinda checking me out. He looked familiar and then he quickly looked down and looked at my boyfriend.
Then it hit me – MARK FOLEY, the disgraced congressmen. He hit on my ex when my ex was a college senatorial intern so I memorized his face. So I’m sure it was him. He was wearing a dark maroon/purple designer shirt, an oversized pair of blue jeans and a like Eddie Bauer vest. He immediately saw his friend, a white blonde woman in her early 50’s in great shape. They had dinner and NOBODY seemed to know who they were.
Interestingly, he sat facing towards everybody in the middle of the room. WEIRD! I thought he was in REHAB! [Nope, he’s reportedly out –ed]