Finally, we can put Cocktober behind us: The Republican House Leadership has just concluded that the Republican House Leadership is totally innocent of wrongdoing in the Mark Foley cover-up.
Hooray for justice! The “ethics panel” will announce this in a few minutes, and we are “live blogging” it.
* Foley is in “another phase” of rehab, whatever that means.
* They’ve been “investigating” for nine weeks.
* They “succeeded.”
* Won’t actually say anything about the report because it “speaks for itself.” Of course, it doesn’t speak so loudly at the moment because we don’t have a copy. (UPDATE: Here’s what you want: a hundred pages of Foley IMs in PDF format!)
* They pledge to not fuck so many pages in the future.
* Jesus, they’re really proud of themselves for taking nine weeks to file a report that finds no fault with a years-long effort to cover up a congressman known to prey on teen-aged boys. Nice going, amoral scumbags! We hope some old man is trying to fuck your children right now!