Gatorade, Coffee Cup Shut Down Lincoln Memorial
Terrorists struck the Lincoln Memorial today with a semi-literate hand-scrawled note and various half-consumed consumer beverages.
Some frightened tourist found the sinister or possibly educational note -- "Do you know what anthrax is? Do you know what a bomb is?" -- and went screaming to the park police. The usual phalanx of FBI agents, NPS police, Homeland Security goons, HazMat dudes and firefighters descended on the ladies room and bravely determined the Gatorade and cup of cold coffee were only threats to those prone to heartburn.
The somber colossus was reopened at 3 p.m.