On this Thanksgiving Eve, we want to remind Americans that all presidents look like twits during the annual Turkey Pardon Photo Op. Here’s Harry Truman, reportedly forced by the National Turkey Federation to start the dumb tradition, thus ensuring that other popular Thanksgiving main courses of the time — ham, roast beast, parsnips, etc. — would fall by the wayside. The Turkey Industry was the Jack Abramoff of 1947.
So many more, after the jump.
Obviously faked, this photo of JFK’s 1963 pardoning of the bird allegedly took place just four days before he was assassinated by the CIA. Note that only a lone turkey is shown; presidents are always presented with two live turkeys, “just in case something goes wrong.”
Nixon’s own pardon would come soon enough.
America is outraged over yet another shocking pardon by Gerald Ford, who is only vaguely aware he’s president.
Say what you will about Reagan, but this was obviously the high point of his year.
But once the Bush Dynasty had formally taken power, the childlike glee was forever gone. Now the weeping turkey cowered and bowed before GHWB, pledging all the Saudi and Kuwaiti oil fields in exchange for clemency.
“How much is this turkey donating to my presidential library, anyway?”
“It’s, uh, harmful, uh, I mean harmless, like, heh, the A-boo Gah-rabe.”