Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings appeared on Celebrity Jeopardy last night. She lost. By a lot. This screenshot comes just after the end of the Double Jeopardy round, when the imminent loss was most painfully apparent. She lost to (in the words of outraged Wonkette emailers) either “David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap” or “Lenny from Laverne and Shirley” (better those two than Nigel Tufnel and Squiggy, we suppose). Two of those emails are reprinted after the jump.
Last night, I was shocked to discovery that US Secretary of Education, Margaret Spellings, is a moron. A right-wing zealot who rallies against gays for, well, being gay, and the state of Connecticut for failing to embrace No Child Left Behind (because we all know that when it comes to public education in this country Connecticut is where the problem lies), sure. But an incompetent tart incapable of working a signaling button, unable to divine from a fairly simple clue what is actually being asked, and failing to apply simple logic when wagering on a Daily Double? Again, I was shocked!
Last night on Celebrity Jeopardy, not only did Secretary Spelling get her ass handed to her by Lenny from “Laverne and Shirley,” with only a few clues left in Double Jeopardy, she wagered a mere $2000 (or something like that) on a daily double when she had accumulated over $7000 and Lenny had almost quadruple her score. In case you’re unaware, both the 2nd and 3rd place finishers get $25,000 for their charities, while the winner gets $50,000 for hers or his. By making it “a true daily double,” she could have pulled within striking distance for Final Jeopardy. Moron!
I was equally shocked to wake up this morning and find that you hadn’t written about Secretary Spelling’s moronity. I would have emailed sooner, but I watched the show around midnight (TIVO), and then crashed. If you missed last night’s airing, I strongly encourage you to find it on YouTube or BitTorrent.
Please be sure to cover Margaret Spellings losing to David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap. And please make sure you use a picture of Spellings, because every picture of her is hilarious. Her official bio photo defies the limits of photographic technology and actually softly emits the sound of her going “Oh my gaaaaaawwwww, y’allll!”