Wonkette

These aren’t exactly a secret, as they’ve been repeated on the political talk shows and cable news for a whole week now, but it’s nice to see everybody following orders so well.

Learn why the election had nothing to do with corrupt mistress-strangling page-humping Republicans and everything to do with the ongoing success of the GOP, after the jump.

Highlights from Recommitting to Conservative Reform:

* We knew this was going to be a very tough year.
* We need to refocus on our conservative principles of less government, lower taxes, less regulation, strong national defense, judicial restraint, and fiscal conservatism.
* We have a vibrant and strong party and a philosophy that works. We just have to recommit ourselves to better serving the American people.
* Despite our losses, this election was no 1994.

The memo closes with a bunch of inspirational post-election quotes from Ken Mehlman, proving that this secret memo is several days old.