Don Sherwood Nearly Strangles Voting Machine
Our favorite mistress-strangling Pennsylvania congressman went to his polling place today and, like most old people, had no idea how to cast his vote.
As he stood at the new electronic voting machine, Mr. Sherwood quickly made his selections, but then ran into a glitch. "How do I send it?" he asked a poll worker. The woman instructed him to hit the red "vote" button at the top and then confirm.
We can only conclude that he really was only trying to give his mistress a "backrub" and then accidentally strangled her because he's legally retarded.
Voter turnout moderate, few problems reported [Scranton Times-Tribune]