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Once again, Newsweek’s U.S. editors have chosen a stupid cover for Americans while filling all three international editions with interesting, in-depth articles about disturbing topics Americans should know.

Last time — just three weeks ago — the international editions’ cover story was “Losing Afghanistan.” The U.S. dummies got a cover story about a lesbian who takes pictures of celebrities.

It’s even worse this time around. More after the jump. Or, for U.S. readers: CLICK THESE RED WORDS! CLICK THEM WITH MOUSE, CLICK CLICK, BUY SPORTS DRINK & SNICKERS!


Once again, the international readers get a serious, sobering story about something that’s not looking so good. It’s a 2,000-word piece with reporting from three continents about all the various species that are suddenly vanishing off the face of the Earth due to rapid climate change.

U.S. readers get another story about the gay dude who quit Congress weeks ago. (Jesus, even we’re sick of Foley and it’s pretty much the ideal story for a political porn site like Wonkette.)

The cover’s art direction is aimed at the crucial retard demographic, too: Giant Leering Foley Face with a little cut-out Bush figure running from Giant Leering Foley Face and two great big simple words, one of which starts with a freakin’ smiley instead of the actual letter.

It gets worse.

The international edition has the damning background to the North Korean nuke test: One year ago, Washington and Pyongyang made a deal and everybody was happy:

On Sept. 19, 2005, North Korea signed a widely heralded denuclearization agreement with the United States, China, Russia, Japan and South Korea. Pyongyang pledged to “abandon all nuclear weapons and existing nuclear programs.” In return, Washington agreed that the United States and North Korea would “respect each other’s sovereignty, exist peacefully together and take steps to normalize their relations.”

Four days later, the U.S. Treasury Department imposed sweeping financial sanctions against North Korea designed to cut off the country’s access to the international banking system, branding it a “criminal state” guilty of counterfeiting, money laundering and trafficking in weapons of mass destruction.

In other words, for some perverse reason we’ll never know, Washington signed the thing and then deliberately provoked Lil’ Kim so he’d break the deal and let the neo-con nuts have a new “regime change.”

That seems like something a few people in America might like to know, right?

Wrong! It would only confuse and anger Americans, who have enough problems already! That’s why the new U.S. edition is filled with important little tiny short articles such as “Parties: How to Have Fun,” “Rock Music: Secrets of ‘Shredding'” and a very special 400-word article about how 77% of Americans spend most of their time praying to their dead relatives’ ghosts, which are everywhere these days.

Did the U.S. Provoke N. Korea? [Newsweek International]

Parties: How to Have Fun [Newsweek U.S.]

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