Douchebags to Drink in Field, ‘Hill’ is There

capitools01.jpg“That’s FUNNY, you QUEER. LAUGH.”

You never know what’s gonna happen at the Capital Club’s annual “Swine on the Vine” party! So promises The Hill’s Betsy Rothstein, anyway, and boy, does it sound unpredictable!

One year, members of this quasi-fraternity decided to play a prank on Matt Jessee, a member who had not shown up for the bash. They posted a “Free Kittens” sign with his cell phone number at the party, prompting 100 calls. Jessee, a lobbyist for Bryan Cave Strategies and former aide to Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.), vowed never to miss a party again.

ROFLMAO. Seriously, tears over here. And Billy Bush might show up. BILLY FUCKING BUSH, PEOPLE.

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More Cap Club follies, after the jump.


It’s not just silicon-enhanced breasts attached to drunk blondes and all the Natty Light you can drink, regurgitate onto your striped shirt, and then drink again (in a field, for some reason) — no, it’s also LIVE ENTERTAINMENT!

The band, Burnt Sienna, will entertain.

If the party, Vine on the Swine, if half as good as the the editing, at The Hill, we are SO THERE.

The promise of antics has always been the party’s draw.

HELL YES. We love antics almost as much as we love shenanigans, capers, and hi jinx. But any party with the promise of antics and hi jinx would probably get shut down pretty early!

The party costs $50 for fellas and $40 for the ladies (BYO rohypnol!). Alternatively, you could lure some real frat boys to a field for the price of a couple six packs and some Jack Daniels.

But hey, the Pearls Before Swine party lasts ’til 10 o’clock! Then it’s back on the shuttle bus to Georgetown, where the Capital Club members’ moms will be waiting to pick them up.

Swine Fever Runs Rampant Again [The Hill]

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Hola wonkerados.

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