Metro Section: What Does Transitional Mean To You?

Federal law enforcement agents providing security for your move to the ghetto may look tough, but there’s no chance in hell they can run down a crackhead. [Wanderings In DC]
New members of Columbia Heights gentry find 14th St. uncivilized, learn foreign curses. [Fictional Rockstar]
Crime-stopping youth curfew starts tonight, but if you’ve got the lawn-cutting money to spare go ahead and buy a loophole. [Pygmalion In A Blanket]
Redesigned metro cars were unveiled today with new seat layout but same earth tones. [FreeRide]
What the mayoral candidates will admit to drinking. [Winesmith]
Baseball trade deadline passes and Nationals hold on to the only good player they’ve got, still plan to lose 60% of remaining games. [ESPN]