Jean Schmidt's Evil Twin Wants to Give You $500

As a public service to our readers in Ohio, if your funds are a little low at the moment, you might want to lend a hand to Jennifer Black, better known as Congressthing Jean Schmidt's evil twin. And it's easy! All you have to do is find those meanies who keep defacing and/or destroying the pro-life signs on the grounds of the no-doubt ultraswanky Schmidt family farm. Heck, that doesn't sound very hard: a couple of nights hiding in a field with a shotgun for five franklins? It's like shooting cultural warrior fish in a barrel. And the opportunity to stand that close to Jean Schmidt's shared gene pool? Heck, we'd do that for free.

 Reward Offered In Abortion Sign Vandalism [WCPO]

Previously:  "Jennifer Black"? Seriously? Why Not "Scarlett Evil" Or Something?