Wonkette's Week in Review: What Money Does Buy
* Short week, short review. First thing you need to know is: on Friday, Wal-Mart tried to answer the questions, "Why you acting shady? Why you ain't callin' me baby?" , by having Beyonce and Taylor Hicks perform at their shareholder meeting. CostCo admits they were served.
* In its infinite wisdom, DHS slashed the terror prevention budgets for DC and NYC, redirecting the money towards protection of the nation's critical booze-producing infrastructure .
* When one slow news day turns into two, you start a slow news streak, and once you're there, you have to start either making shit up or codifying the obvious .
* 700 million dollar man Hank Paulson was nominated for Treasury Secretary. Everyone is still waiting for the big "Sike!" regarding his love of nature and all God's creatures .
* After they finished the "rock paper scissors" tournament, the Maryland jury in the "Sniper" case figured enough time had passed to make it look real, and convicted John Allen Muhammad .
* No, Al Gore is not running for President -- he's running for Earth .
* A week without Katherine Harris is like a week without air. Luckily, she'll never be too far away , regardless of how much it costs .