Liveblogging the Hayden Hearings, Part Three: Senator van Pelt
12: 56 -- First off: We shoud've been liveblogging the Gay Marriage debate instead. Secondly: Feinstein's mic was left open long enough for us to hear her say, annoyedly, "He didn't answer anything." See ya at 1:30.
12: 51 -- The Feinstein questioning:
12: 50 -- So remember when Negroponte said people in secret prisons will remain there until the end of this open-ended War on Terror?
Hayden -- Closed session.
How will we get good intelligence out of people who've been in secret prisons for 5 years?
Hayden -- Closed session.
Waterboarding -- hot or not?
Hayden -- Closed session.
DoJ give you guys any new torture advice?
Hayden -- Closed session.
Remember when the Inspector General said you guys were torturing people? Do you agree?
Hayden -- Closed session.
Iran -- you think they're gonna get nukes pretty soon?
Hayden -- Closed session. Oh, by the way, we aretotallyconfident about our Iran intelligence. Yeah, it'stotallydifferent from the Iraq thing. We, uh, learned lessons. Lessons were learned. Whoo boy, those lessons.
12: 42 -- Will you make a commitment that all the top officers at the CIA will be intelligence workers? Or something like that. Seems like an obvious yes. As CIA officials, they will be, by definition, intelligence officials. Right?
Hayden is bored and hungry. SO ARE WE.
He brought the question to NSA lawyers, three guys he trusts, with "a real comfort level," that this was within the President's authority. "They talked to me about Article 2." Boy, that Article 2 -- we should look that one up. Sounds like an exciting one.
Feinstein pushing hard on the "Everyone should follow FISA, and if you would just TELL US WHAT YOU WANT US TO CHANGE ABOUT FISA so you can legally keep doing what you're currently doing illegally, we're be MORE THAN HAPPY TO CHANGE IT. GET US OFF THE HOOK, HERE GUYS. WE DON'T WANT TO OVERSEE YOU! There's a totally awesome gay marriage debate going on in the Senate right now that we're missing 'cause of this bullshit.
"I want to ask you some questions about the fourth amendment." She's reading it to him! We thought he might do a double-take and drop his monocle when he heard the end of it. She should've said "SPOILER ALERT!" beforehand.
12: 35 -- Hayden -- "Rather than sitting in Philadelphia and debating the theory of federalism, the folks just wrote down the powers they wanted the federal government to have." On the whole, we'd rather be in Philadelphia.
HOLY SHIT WE'RE IN A WAR?!?!?
Following Feinstein's questions, we will break for lunch. FUCK YES. We're STARVING.
HA! Feinstein's cell phone went off!
12: 28 -- It would be nice if Snowe, after saying, "If it was good enough to brief the whole committee yesterday, why wasn't it good enough to brief the whole committee in 2001?" had stopped and allowed him to answer that question. But instead she has gone on for another two minutes about how the branches of government need to work together. Executive and Legislative join to form Voltron! Fighting terror!
Hardest part of being confirmed by Senate is surely looking like you're paying attention. Hayden -- "Really important queastion, critical issues. Allow me to repeat my previous answer."
"I literally said, in our small group, look, I've got a workforce out there that remembers the mid-1970's." Shit, shouldn't those people be retired by now?
"We've had a one-ball two-strike count agaisnt it, and we don't swing at too many pitches." Or something. Jesus fucking christ. How about, like, all sports metaphors be replaced by references to mid-'90s action films. Or Bowie albums. Or something. Anything. "Well, you see, my agency was like Bowie after 'Young Americans' tanked, you see. We went to Berlin to record with Eno, you know, try something new. It's like the intelligence community was on a bus that couldn't go below a certain speed, see, and Dennis Hopper represents Al-Qaeda, right: ?"
MORE PLAYERS ON THE TEAM. THEY'VE GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE SPORT. CIA IS LIKE THE JAMAICAN BOBSLED TEAM, SEE, AND THE DoD IS THE MIGHTY DUCKS, RIGHT, AND THE CIA IS THE BAD NEWS BEARS...
12: 20 -- Pat Roberts wants to let Wyden know that he's a jerk and everyone else was happy and he wasn't invited to the super top secret briefings because he's a LOSER and NO ONE LIKES HIM. Oh, you didn't get the Evite? I must have the wrong email address for you, I swear I sent it.
Roberts give Wyden 30 seconds to respond to the smackdown, then distracts him with a football joke. Whoo, bring on Senator Feinstein! Psych! Lunch break! No, it's a headfake to Senator Snowe!
Olympia Snowe talks like an NPR anchor. Until the New England accent kicks in. We think she's a smoker. She totally wants a camel and a cup of black coffee. Snowe is pretty sure everyone wants to fight terrorism.
12: 06 -- Wyden -- "who is this 'we' you keep talking about? You didn't brief us!"
Hayden -- "If I very slowly list the four people we briefed, it will make it sound like a longer list."
Don't worry about it, though, Hayden asked Senator DeWine where the American people would draw the line between security and liberty. There's your accountability.
12: 04 -- Hayden -- "I actually told the people who were putting this briefing together to make itin-your-face." So no one can say there's no accountability or independent verification or oversight. Because the SLIDESHOW WAS INTENSE! IT WAS X-TREME POWERPOINT. TO THE MAX. THEY WERE SHOTGUNNING RED BULLS AND MOUTAIN DEW.
12: 02 -- Wyden misquotes Reagan's "trust but verify" line. We think he's a good person to be the dick to Hayden because it's hard to think of him as a partisan firebrand showboating Schumer type, as he clearly is about to start crying.
11: 59 -- Ron Wyden -- He's the best we're gonna get for contentious question, but the problem is, he's 12 years old. Ron Wyden -- Boy Senator! To be played by little Ronnie Howard! Ron Wyden -- castigating the entire Bush Administration for breaking the law, but sounding like he's Linus explaining the true meaning of Christmas.
"Behold, I bring you tidings of great joy. On the wiretapping program, in 2001, you were told by the President's lawyers that you have authority to listen to Americans' phone calls. But a year later, in 2002, you tesitified that you have no authority to listen to Americans' phone calls in the United State unless you have a warrant. But you have since admitted that you were wiretapping Americans. Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?"
Hayden -- I carefully parsed my words when I lied to you so that it wouldn't technically be a lie. Wasn't that clever?
Wyden with the skeptical hand to the chin motion! It's getting exciting!