Wonkette

We’ll spend the weekend wishing we had a $2.5 million book deal — congrats, Valerie! — and disappointment that the new CIA director is probably going to be Gen. Michael V. Hayden (rather than the uber-hot Fran Townsend). But here are a few things that you can do on this glorious spring weekend:* Watch a nation descend into Fascism. It’s just a play, people, just a play. [Rorschach Theatre via DCeiver]

* Get drunk on Bourbon and mint juleps. Oh, and watch the Kentucky Derby, too. [DCist]

* Enjoy the soulful stylings of Anthony Hamilton. [Free Ride]

* Pay $15 for the privilege of eating “Rocky Mountain Oysters.” [DCist]