We previously asked you about a blind item, from Payola Six, concerning the cocaine-using daughter “of a high-powered politician.” In your guesses, some of you suggested Chelsea Clinton. We dismissed such speculation: “Chelsea Clinton was jokingly named (jokingly, since she’s probably too much of a goody-goody to do coke).”
Alas, unfortunately for Chelsea, the National Enquirer took this rumor and ran with it (article not available online, so yeah, we sheepishly bought a copy at a Wawa’s over the weekend). The article begins:
Chelsea Clinton is embroiled in a shocking drug scandal, the National Enquirer has learned. Source said the former First Daughter is furious after she was linked to a gossip item about cocaine use on a widely-read political website.
In light of the Enquirer spin, we would like to take this opportunity to remind you that we here at Wonkette said the exact opposite: that Chelsea — now working as a management consultant at McKinsey & Co. in New York, where she’s well-liked and well-regarded by her colleagues — is an unlikely candidate for cocaine use.
And despite their salacious lede, the Enquirer’s own reporting points away from Chelsea too. They quote “a source close to Chelsea” as saying: “Chelsea is furious because she has never touched drugs. It’s well-known she had plenty of fun in college, sometimes drinking way too much, but that never included drug use. Chelsea is not the sort of person who needs drugs or cocaine to have a good time.”
To read about more logical cokehead daughter candidates, but whose names don’t sell as many supermarket tabloids as Chelsea Clinton’s, click here.
(The scandal-loving among you may be disappointed to hear that there’s no truth to this latest Chelsea rumor. To make up for it, here’s something about the former First Daughter that probably is true: she just checked into the trendy Viceroy Hotel, in celeb-studded Santa Monica. Enjoy your stay, Chelsea!)
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