CNN Headlines Bring Miraculous News

 

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If dead rappers can shoot guns, surely they can give press conferences on behalf of embattled political figures. Paging Tupac — Cynthia McKinney needs you!

This next headline proclaims two miracles — the political miracle of gay marriage, and the biological miracle of men getting pregnant:

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Yeah, we’ll admit it, we were having one of those days. When we saw this headline, we immediately thought it related to Jake Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard. It wasn’t until we clicked through to the article that we realized that — duh! — it’s about Jake’s sister Maggie, Sarsgaard’s longtime girlfriend.

We know that Maggie is a star in her own right, and we admired her work in “Secretary.” But can you blame us for immediately thinking “Jake!” when we see the name “Gyllenhaal”? (Our mistake was not unreasonable — the thought crossed other people’s minds, too.)

Police: Dead Rapper Fired First Shot [CNN]
Gyllenhaal, Sarsgaard Engaged, Expecting a Baby [CNN]
That’s It, Ladies, They’re Spoken For. Both of ‘Em [The Greensborian]

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