Those guys on the Supreme Court — they’re old, yes. Some of them are very old, in fact. But despite that, you can’t fool them by just making shit up, Senators Kyl and Graham. So while your brief on Hamdan might look very much like it’s from Senate floor debate, well, there are cameras and things that will prove that it never happened. Even if you try really hard to make it convincing:
Their brief states that “the Congressional Record is presumed to reflect live debate except when the statements therein are followed by a bullet … or are underlined” (their italics). The colloquy appears in the record without a bullet or underline; ergo, the brief implies, it must be live. The colloquy is even scripted to sound live. “Mr. President, I see that we are nearing the end of our allotted time,” Kyl says at one point. At another, Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan., appears to interject a question. “If I might interrupt,” he begins.
Ha! Best brief ever! Man, arguing stuff before the Supreme Court really can’t be that hard. Uh… we have a copy of the Congressional Record from… last week-ish that we’d like to present to the Court:
Mr. FEINGOLD. If I might interrupt, I think it’s important for the record to show that the distinguished Justice Souter totally owes Wonkette 20 bucks.
Mr. CRAPO: Hear, hear.
Mr. BROWNBACK: Word.
Invisible Men [Slate]