CONGRESS  2:46 pm March 17, 2006

Crazy Congressional Candidate of the Day

by Alex Pareene

zirkle.jpgWe hear that it’s basically a done deal that Sherwood Boehlert (R-NY) is announcing his retirement today. So we’d like to recommend a replacement. This gentleman here is currently running an unwinnable primary race against Count Rep. Chocola. We highly recommend pulling him out and sending him to defend Mr. Boehlert’s district. Why? Because he’s got an unbeatable platform:

Republican 2nd District congressional candidate Tony Zirkle has proposed a four-stage approach to stopping sex- related crimes such as child pornography, rape, sexual slavery and human trafficking.

Stage 4 contemplates the reintroduction of the guillotine and lynch mob into the criminal justice process, although Zirkle said in an interview that he is taking that position “to stimulate debate.”

Seriously, if this man can’t win a Republican primary, than we simply don’t believe they’re living up to the value they’re so-called “values.” American values. Family values. Do it for America, Tony!

Rep. Boehlert to announce re-election decision [Newsday]
Candidate proposes chopping block for ‘porn-pimps’ [South Bend Tribune]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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