Next time you see a Foer Brother (you’ll be able to recognize them by their wire-rim glasses, sensible-but-disheveled style of dress, carefully cultivated air of quiet superiority, and the smuggest little smirk you’ve ever seen) — be it New Yorker Jonathan Safron, or his DC-befouling kin, New Republic editor Franklin and this new Joshua character — please, please, please do your old friend Wonkette a favor and punch him right in his self-satisfied mug.
Joshua Foer remembers thinking he did not have a chance to win the USA Memory Championship. That wasn’t his goal. The D.C. resident was participating as a lark, for a book he is writing that explores and demystifies memory.
But as it turns out, Foer remembers a lot of things — such as how to duplicate a shuffled deck of cards or memorize a list of 100 numbers in five minutes.
Oh boy! He won a fucking memory contest! We hear he’s really good at crossword puzzles and Scrabble, too — hey, you know, we think we read that in a fucking personal essay in The Atlantic, or maybe a think piece in the Times Magazine. Jesus, can’t you fuckers go 20 minutes without trying to “explore” something? Why don’t you demystify that uncanny urge we get to punch a wall when we see your name in the paper?