Entertainment Industry Spokesman, Dead Ahead!

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Scientists are split on whether the loss of over 65% of former MPAA President Jack Valenti is due to man-made factors or simply the cyclical nature of show business.

Bonus Alternate Joke: This undated photo provided by the Palm Beach Daily Journal shows the East Greenland Icebergs celebrating the 40th anniversary of their their calving from the Kangerdlussuaq Weinsteins.

Southern Md. Extra [WP]

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