second last in an occasional series of updates from the woman who put the “ass” in “staff assistant”:
One of the men from my blog is pursuing a book deal of his own! [No idea who she's talking about, sorry. Also, not sure I care. -- Ed.] Not worried: He only knew me for, like, five minutes, and has nothing to write about me that the world doesn’t already know. Jesus, what douche.
I always wanted to write a novel, too. Problem was, I didn’t have anything to write about either. I lost my job by keeping an internet sex diary, and problem solved. (Strangers may hate me, but problem solved.)
I signed with a literary agency over the weekend. Working on a 30-50 page proposal for a fictitious novel in the manner of “The Devil Wears Prada,” but set in Washington. “The Devil Wears Anne Taylor”? Yes!
What does a girl wear to a meeting with Playboy Magazine? Me, I wore a white sweater, khaki skirt, and green/blue Kate Spade heels. (You don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard, but your outfit should be easily removeable.)
My lunch w/ Playboy went long: we talked for almost six hours! But no decision made.
Going out every night in NYC, and every boy I meet wants to do drugs with me and be my new best friend. That’s why I love NY. Boys in DC never have any drugs. If they do, it’s always coke, and then they’re so stingy with it. That’s why everybody is so hard-up. Even though I’m high right now as I write this, I really think I’m on to something with that theory.
Back to work on the book.
UPDATE: We all know this story jumped the shark the minute Jessica’s nipples made the New York Post, we’re just sort of into sharks. Now that things have wrapped up in a pleasant, drug-induced haze, we feel that our part in this passion play is over. And here we thought that any pairing of “Washingtonienne” and “happy ending” would involve a twenty dollar bill.
What One Conservative Woman Thinks of Washingtonienne [Wonkette]
Washingtonienne(s) Lite [Wonkette]
Washington’s Other W Twins [Wonkette]
WASHINGTONIENNE SPEAKS!! WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE!! MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!! THE WASHINGTONIENNE INTERVIEW!! [Wonkette]
Washingtonienne: Eliminated by Process [Wonkette]
Washingtonienne: Process of Elimination [Wonkette]
Save Washingtonienne! Or: We Are All Washingtonienne Now [Wonkette]
Washingtonienne: Aren’t You Bored Yet? [Wonkette]
Would You Sell Sex to This Man? [Wonkette]
Washingtonienne: We Thought We Knew You [Wonkette]
Washingtonienne: Wonkette Works the Phones. [Wonkette]
Washingtonienne: Back from Monkeyfishing [Wonkette]
Washingtonienne: Not Fired, Gone Monkeyfishing? [Wonkette]
Washingtonienne A.P.B. [Wonkette]
Washingtonienne’s Former Day Job [Wonkette]
The Lost Washingtonienne (WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE, ETC., ETC.) [Wonkette]
We Love You, Washingtonienne [Wonkette]
Where is Washingtonienne? [Wonkette]
A Girl After Our Own Heart (She’s So Getting a Book Deal Out of This) [Wonkette]