If You're Wondering About the Eerie Quiet from Charles Schumer's Office...
It's a real shame that the shit hit the fan on the whole NSA espionage story today, because we learn that Schumer's Communication Director Izzy Klein sent out a blast email this morning that regretfully announced that their email system was going to be offline throughout today and possibly into the weekend. As Klein put it: "In any case - think of this as an early Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa (or Chrismukkah for some of you) present from me to you."
We imagine that it takes a lot of national security infrastructure to screen out communications from Schumer's office. Reports that Schumer spent his post-Patriot Act vote afternoon time gazing longly at his appearance in the reflecting pool were unconfirmed at press time.— DCEIVER