One can’t look at the list of “gifts” accepted by Rep. Duke Cunningham without wondering what the guy is going to do with two really expensive commodes: one “Restoration” period commode and one “1850 Louis Phillipe” commode. Well, he is kinda old. The other thing that jumped out at us was the $9,500 purchase of “two Laser Shot shooting simulators.” These are not toys, mind you — they are sophisticated laser educational devices whose primary use, to judge by their website, is teaching children that they’re supposed to shoot the hideous deformed deer who have their insides on the outside. They also offer training to military and law enforcement under the motto, “Simulation Technology for Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond,” which sounds very high tech, indeed. Apparently, the “think before you shoot” concept is the basis of the hunter education software. If only someone had thought to get ol’ Duke the “Congressional Simulator” software, which is based on the “think before you take bribes” concept.
Also? There is no crying in bribery.