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Please DontIn an highly dubious post, but perhaps serious offer, a Craigslister seeks out another very Washington-specific form of gratification:

If you can get me a ticket to see Tai Shan between now and December 30, I will (I can’t believe I am saying this) give you a handjob, with my hands. Maybe, if you are cute, a BJ. I am serious about this. I really want to see this panda.

Supposedly, she’s a graduate student at a “major” zoological organization so we’re not sure why she needs some average but early-rising Joe to get them for her. Maybe that’s just her “thing.” Though, rest assured: “I am not a ‘psycho’. I just love pandas! I really, really, really want to see Tai Shan.”

Uh, yeah. This is how it starts. Soon you’re blowing the panda himself. Please, folks, keep your Butterstick in your pants. The Stick doesn’t want to be a party to this kind of behavior. Just let him hump his cage bar in peace.

Grad student will trade Handjob, possible BJ, for Panda Tix – w4m – 27 [Craigslist]

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