Decoding the Note: Has the Eagle Landed?

 

Oh, Note! Why do you tease and derange us so? We swore we would be lured no longer down your florid yet terminally occluded path of dim insinuation and addled wit. For that is where, we have learned by painful experience, the English language–to say nothing of the mental properties of sensemaking that have sustained its frail development over these many long centuries–goes not merely to die, but to be suckerpunched, pitifully buckled over and breathless, wailing the unanswerable plaint, “Why, Note, Why? What have I ever done to deserve this? Curse your portentous prolixities and your gnomic formulations of the teeth-grindingly obvious!”

Absurdly detailed Notely ruminations after the jump.


But so be it. Today the Notely gauntlet is thrown at the very opening: “The Owl Flies West (?) (A Mysterious Note Headline for Just One Reader)” We know not who this reader, let alone the occidental-tacking bird of prey, may be. But Note, really: What the fuck? The parenthetical question mark already has us woozy. Does the owl merely appear to fly west, while in fact doing something else entirely? Perhaps it is studying its diction–or better yet, punctuation usage! Or maybe there is no owl at all. We have to at least allow that possibility as one outcome of the nonsensical pileup of parentheses: We have clearly entered some dark counterfeit life where none of the usual rules apply. Is the Note playing Matrix to Keanu’s Neo? Let us, ahem, Note that “One Reader” can be reconstituted as “Neo Red Ear.” Yes, we know that yields only two Matrix terms out of three word formations, but that’s a far higher percentage of sense-making value than you get by taking the thing at face value.

But we digress. (Or do we)(?) And we are, alas, entirely spent before the main Note event/news summary, which seems to concern some investigation of some sort of a leak involving the Bush administration. All we can think to do is to plead for the assistance of the owl-spotting (or owl-shunning?) Very Special Note Reader Referenced in Set of Parentheses Number Two. Are you out there, Bird Watcher? Let us know, please, since we now lack the epistemological confidence to believe that we are, in fact, in here. And failing your first-hand testimony, O Binoculared One, let other readers step forward with interpretations of what any of this could possibly mean,at tips@wonkette.com. We retire, meanwhile, to the solarium, for some laudanum and a cold compress.

The Note: The Owl Flies West (?) [ABC News] (?)

 
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