Presidential Bragging Rights

Yes, we will be liveblogging it. (MSNBC is carrying it — finally found someone with lower ratings than Tucker.) As for the drinking game, we’re so over drinking games. We’re into drinks. Hot on the heels of the Gitmojito, how we’re getting through the speech tonight:

• The Car Bomb: A jigger of Jagermeister submerged in a glass of milk.

• The Last Throe: A sloe gin fizz garnished with barbed wire. Endless refills!

• The Red State: Everclear and Koolaid

• The Chenetini: Vodka and Lipitor

• The Fuzzy Exit Strategy: Three oz. Peach Schnapps, 3 oz. Orange juice, and we can’t tell you the rest because that would only help the terrorists.

See you at eight. — WONKETTE