Liberal City Slickers Just Don't Get It

Why is it so hard to understand for coastal elites that farm animals (especially the vibrating ones) are fucking hot? And not just great sex partners, but also, in some cases, girlfriend material? First, there was that big media to-do because President Bush likes to milk a stallion every now and then. Now, via News Hounds, we bring you this exchange from Fox News Radio's The Alan Colmes Show, between host Alan Holmes and anti-abortion activist guest Neal (we're not making this up) Horsley.— GREG BEATO

COLMES: "You had sex with animals?"

HORSLEY: "Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule."

COLMES: "I'm not so sure that that is so."

HORSLEY: "You didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?"

COLMES: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"

HORSLEY: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality...Welcome to domestic life on the farm...If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it."

 A Roll in the Hay [The Alan Colmes Show]

 Bizarre Sex Habits of The Extreme Right-Wing [News Hounds]