Tag: usda

USDA’s New Top Researcher Is A Godfearing Patriot, Which Is Way Better Than A Scientist

The guy has degree in public administration! What are you all bitching about?!?!

THE RESISTANCE BEGINS … With All These National Park Service Social Media Managers GONE ROGUE!

Nice Time: Your public servants aren't taking kindly to this censorship stuff.

Fox & Friends Corrects Lying Story About Food Stamp Fraud! Apocalypse Is Truly Here!

Fox admits it was wrong about a thing? How can this be?
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

Rush Limbaugh Tried To Warn You About Obama’s Lesbian Farmers, But You LAUGHED AT HIM

Rush knows liberals are OUTRAGED that he figured out Obama's secret lesbian farmer conspiracy plans!
Thanks but no thanks

Ohio Squares Do Not Wish To Join Your Reefer Madness, America

Ohioans heeded the historically ineffective Just Say No advice of their Republican governor -- and, huh, one-time pot dealer to the Ronald Reagan campaign staff of '76, allegedly — John “Not Gonna Be President” Kasich, and voted against legalization...

Hero GOP Senator Will Save Tax Dollars From Dumb Things Like Chocolate

Republican Jeff Flake, the other jackass senator from Arizona, loves to Make A Point about how much of your tax dollars the government is wasting on dumb stuff that he, Jeff Flake, does not understand and therefore sees no reason...

Heroic Maine Governor Paul LePage Stops Poors From Bogarting The Baloney Slices

Gee willikers golly Jeebus on a cracker, the states of this union are stepping up their game in the eternal contest to see who can fuck the poors with the least amount of lube. If you know Maine's governor,...
A year is plenty of time to stop being poor.

Wisconsin Rep. Will Card Poors For Food At Their Separate And Unequal Welfare Groceries

The Midwestern states sure do seem to be having a contest right now, over who can fuck the poors the baddest and the longest! Missouri gave it a shot, what with that dickhead rep who just wanted to make sure...
Let them eat dirt

Now Michelle Obama Has Stolen All The Pop-Tarts

Thanks to Michelle Obama's ongoing war on your children's Eleventeenth Amendment right to shove all the junk food they want into their chubby faces -- try reading the Constitution sometime, Michelle -- Westside High School in Omaha, Nebraska, is...

Now Wingnuts Furious State Dinner Served Food

Those damned Obamas with their dogs eating imaginary steak off bone china (get it???) and their fancy-schmancy designer frocks! Something must be done to bring their wild living down to earth, because they got all fancied up for a...

USDA Finds Farm Subsidy Waste, So GOP Will Cut Food Stamps

So our little mommyblog has been harping on the Republicans in Congress because of their strong desire to ensure that poor people don’t eat, because poor people are just wasting taxpayer monies by being frauds. Luckily, the USDA (which...

We Have The Pentagon’s Training Brochures On How To Stop Whistleblowing Spy Stuff

Everyone who works for the government is a secret agent now. Their mission: spy on their coworkers just to make sure nobody leaks information — classified, unclassified or totally obvious — to the American public, but especially that Glenn...

Happy Blogging About Pigford Day!

Andrew Breitbart may still be dead, but his legacy of demanding attention by shrieking unintelligible noises like a syphilitic howler monkey with both legs caught in a thresher lives on. And what are Raggedy Dead Andy’s legions of feral...

Hero GOP Reps Fight Back Against Tyranny Of Healthy School Lunches

Brave GOP legislators are fighting against the Kale Tyranny of Michelle Obama and her personal minions at the USDA, who are phasing in a fascist plan to require all school lunches to reduce their maximum calorie count and include...

Obama Hilariously Tells a Farmer to Call The USDA

Ha ha, U.S. President of Doom Barack Obama obviously has no idea how awful his government is. He seems to think that if an American person has a question about something, that person can just call up the government...