Tag: todd palin

Sarah Palin’s Brain Just Went Rogue Again

Where's Track? IN JAIL MAYBE?

Sarah Palin’s Kid Is Violent Fuck-Up Again. No, Not Bristol.

Did Track Palin beat up his girlfriend again, allegedly? OR DID HE BEAT UP HIS DAD?

A Long Ass List Of Folks Who SHOULD NOT Look At The Eclipse Today. Dammit, Eric Trump, What’s Wrong With You?

The following people are dumb and might need to be reminded.

Here Is Your Wonkette Fourth Of July Foody And Drinky Open Thread!

Happy 4th of July to all U.S. Americans, even those who cannot find America on a map, and such as.

Sarah Palin’s Posse Grabs White House By Pussy, And It Is Classy As Fuque!

Donald Trump only invites the classiest people over for dinner.

2016: The Year The Palins And The Duggars Bored The Everloving Sh*t Out Of Us

Oh, Palins. Oh, Duggars. We still can't quit you, even if you do suck lately.

Sarah Palin Spills Boone’s Farm In Rage Over Lyin’ Hillary’s Email Tyranny

Guys, we don't think Sarah Palin is real happy with the FBI's decision not to recommend indictment for Hillary.
Sarah Palin calculates in her head how many of Bristol's "chances" will turn into out-of-wedlock babies.

Sarah Palin So Happy Donald Trump’s Jewish Grandbaby Born On Easter, Just Like Jesus!

OK SPOILER ALERT, we know Jesus wasn't born on Easter, first of all. But does Sarah Palin know that? Well He sure did something that day, over there in Nazareth, otherwise why did we hide the moose eggs all...
This is what Ted Cruz looks like when he begs for money.

Is Ted Cruz Adulterous Foreign-Born Whore? Maybe!

People, we may have to issue a correction here. We reported at you this morning that Ted Cruz had, for the first time in his life, growed himself a dick. Of course, we meant that in the sense that...
No sir, she doesn't like it!

Sarah Palin Will Be Half-Term TV Judge Of Whether He Wrong For That Or You Just Hatin’

Sarah Palin is a planner. Do you know how you're going to be grifting off your mouthbreathing fans in the fall of 2017? Sarah Palin does, dontcha know, because she's got #billz to pay. And Sarah knows, from all her...

You Want More Justin Trudeau Hotness? Fine. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Y'ALL. It's Saturday! You're probably like "Gah Evan, why do we have to look upon the hotness of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau again THIS SUCKS." That's because you're bad at life. But we can explain. First of all,...

Sarah Palin Nurses Husband Back To Health By Drunk-Stumping For Trump In Florida

Todd Palin, née Half-Term First Dude née Mr. Mrs. Sarah Palin, had a accident on his snow machine, and it sounded real bad. So bad, in fact, that we interrupted our regular programming, of snorting and snickering at the...

Sarah Palin Quits Thing For Good Reason, For Once

When we first learned, from the internet, that Sarah Palin had up and quit an appearance at a rally for Donald Trump, we made the typical Occam's razor assumptions: Sarah Palin, Patron-Type Lady Saint Person Queen o' Quittin' Stuff, was sleeping...
Black coffee, she needs black coffee. Or another cocktail.

Sarah Palin Probably Had Good Hangover, We Mean Reason, For Quitting On Trump Rally

If your name is Sarah Mama Grizzly Moosedick Palin, you have been a busy little worker bee the past 24 hours! You went on an airplane to Iowa, all the way from up there in Alaska; you got a...
Where's Track? IN JAIL MAYBE?

Track Palin Got Drunk And Beated Up A Lady With His Gun, Allegedly

What a busy day for the Palin family! Sarah's in Iowa making drunk faces about Makin' America Great Again for Donald Trump, Bristol's sitting at home COVERED in out-of-wedlock baby poo and "writing" internet letters about what a dick...

Sarah Palin Endorses Donald Trump For Emperor Of Alaska And Also Too America!

BREAKING NEWS! On Jan. 19, in the year of our gun-totin' Lord 2016, Sarah Palin will saunter out onstage with Donald Trump in Ames, Iowa, where she will caress his beautiful mane and say, "I also too Sarah Palin...