Tag: tax day

What Taxes? Trump Has No Taxes! Wonkagenda For Tues., April 18, 2017

In 24 hours Trump thanked a dictator, dodged his taxes, and blamed Obama for gang violence. Your morning news brief!

President Bannon Sleeps With The Fishes. Wonkagenda For Fri., April 14, 2017

The Wingnut-o-sphere is spinning in circles, Jared is moving in, and town halls get testy! Your morning news brief!

Elizabeth Warren And Bernie Sanders Gonna Kick TurboTax Right In The Balls

Excellent news! While Ted Cruz is yammering on about things that will never happen (filing your taxes on a postcard and abolishing the IRS), Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, and six other cosponsors have introduced a tax simplification bill...

Return Of The Lucky Duckies: Fox’s Greg Gutfeld Wishes He Was Poor So He Could Live It Up

Hey, kids, remember when the Wall Street Journal started using the charming phrase "lucky duckies" to refer to those high-living Poors who don't pay any taxes at all, except for payroll taxes, sales taxes, Social Security tax, property...

Josh Romney And Donald Rumsfeld Have Thoughts On Tax Day (They Are Giant Dicks About It)

Imagine you are Josh Romney. A couple of years ago your daddy ran for a big job, and that job was President of the United States. In the course of running for this job, quite a few people said...

GOP To Ronald Reagan’s Secretary: Pay Those Taxes Harder!

Hey girl. You probably already heard that the GOP blocked the Buffett Rule, the "political" "gimmick" that says millionaires have to pay as much in taxes as Ronald Reagan's secretary. Everyone knows that making millionaires pay the same rate...

Fading Literary Star Barack Obama No Longer Selling Any Books

One-time bestselling author Barack Obama is just a backlist nobody these days, as income from the sales of his fictional biographies has dropped from more than five million a year to less than a million. Sure, that's more than...

Wonkette Operatives Went To Every Teabagger Rally!

Thanks to Wonkette operative "Jonathan R." for snapping this dapper slob protesting at the Washington Monument yesterday. What's his beef? THE GAYS. Why won't they "debate him" no matter how many times he asks, in public (restrooms), for debating...

Feathered Joker Is Serious About Obama’s Child Abuse of Monopoly Money

Thank you, Wonkette Patriot-Operatives around this great nation, for all the weird pictures you've sent to your Wonkette. Here's a new batch of Liberty, as seen by you, the Libertines. You know how long these people have waited for a...

Don’t Listen To The Spendthrift Hepcat Duck, Donald!!!!!

Now that you have all paid your entire taxes in full (ha ha ha) for the Christian year 2009, you must remember to set aside your tax money for 2010, because otherwise it will go to Hitler and Hirohito!...

Barack And Michelle Obama Are Rich As The Dickens

Barack and Michelle Obama have posted their 2009 tax return online, just to brag about how they live at "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue," where they count their $5,505,409 in adjusted gross income all day long, cackling. Most of that money...

Here Is The Poop Man Protesting Poop

Is this the infamous Poop Man? Or Poop Lady? Eh, no. Just some other guy stone cold talkin' about Poop, at today's midday Obamar protest. Thank you to tipster "Matt," who "wants to die."

It’s Tax-Teabagger Protest Day In Washington!

Your Wonkette will be all over town today, taking pictures and carrying signs and just cold goin' nuts, for Liberty! We also invite you to send whatever crazy pictures, videos, whatever. This is exactly like that day when the...

Tea Party Doesn’t Even Know What Tea Party Is About

Surprise, the teabaggers don't know what teabaggers are supposed to believe, either. A new CBS poll proves that the majority of teabaggers have no complaints about the amount of taxes they pay. Which kind of makes sense, considering the...

OBAMAR WILL TAX WHITE PEOPLE SNEEZING

Production values far exceed the Demon Sheep Level of recent Republican efforts, so we will give this commercial an "A" for effort. Nobama will tax the oxygen you breathe, and the wheelchairs you use to get around the Hometown...