Tag: secretary of defense

Mattis Throws Himself On Military Transgender Ban, Saves Trump From Stupid Tweet

Some old soldiers may have a clever plan to make Trump's idiotic transgender ban just fade away.
the smile of dubious loyalties.

Trans Ban? Tammy Duckworth’s Robot Feet Kick Trump’s Draft-Dodging Ass. Again.

Tammy Duckworth has had quite enough of your shit, Mr. Trump.

Trump Fires Trans Soldiers, Protects America From Talking About Jeff Sessions For A Day

It may look like a distraction, but it's plenty real for thousands of active military and civilian Defense Department employees.

Senate’s Big White House North Korea Briefing Lamer Than Field Trip To Box Factory

At least the senators could make jokes about how in German, a bus ride is a 'Busfarht.'
The Sarah Palin Farknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker

Sarah Palin Just Yelled ‘Hoohah!’ And Now Our Week Is Complete

Sarah Palin thinks a common euphemism for vagina is also the Marines' battle cry.
So, about that whole 'civilian control of the military' thing...So, about that whole 'civilian control of the military' thing...

Trump Could Do Worse Than Secretary Of Defense James Mattis. In Fact, It’s Shocking He Didn’t

Donald Trump seems to have almost accidentally found a competent candidate for Secretary of Defense. Maybe.
You want to tell Shane Ortega he can't use the men's room? Wouldn't recommend that.

Obama Shoves Trans Equality Down Military’s Throat, Military Salutes And Says Yessir

Is there anything left for the military to discriminate against, or is this the last one? We think it's the last one!
Jack Nicholson

Marines Remove ‘Man’ From Job Titles, Weepy Tough Guys Get Sand In Their Manginas

The Marine Corps will drop the term "man" from a number of job titles. Quite a few manly Marines have gotten surprisingly emotional over this.
It will look just like this.

Boy Scouts President Says Gay Scout Leaders Just Fine, Haters Can Take A Hike

Hurray, we have a Nice Time, and it is about the Boy Scouts! If you search your noggin, you'll remember way back in 2013, when the entire Boy Scouts of America (BSA) got homosexual agendaed, because they lifted the...
Some guy, who knows?

Obama Taps Some Nerd To Babysit Wars For Next Two Years

Ever since the White House told Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel to GTFO, pretty much every potential replacement for the job has been busy shouting "Not it!" Because really, what sane person would want the thankless job of overseeing our...
Sorry, Chuck, but someone's got to go

Obama Learns His Lesson From Election, Fires Only Republican In Room

It seems President Obama has learned at least one valuable lesson from the devastating mandate delivered by the minority of the American people who bothered voting on Election Day: can the Republican. The New York Times is reporting that Secretary...

Who Would Republicans Deign To Accept As Obama’s Secretary Of Defense?

Former Republican Senator and Obama's Defense Secretary nominee Chuck Hagel may not be cut out for all this. And really, who is? Obviously, any Democrat the president might nominate would be persona non, because Barack Nobummer is being partisan...

Herman Cain Wants Job He Is Least Qualified Person on Earth To Have

Unemployed dingbat Herman Cain is now, like so many Americans, in search of a new job. Herman Cain has given some consideration to his three main qualifications of "illiterate," "serial sex creep" and "shit pizza shill," and according to...

Bush Never Got To Name FedEx Guy As America’s Top Warlord

Have you read all of Karl Rove's memoir Me, Poop, Trash, & Gargoyles and presented your findings to your fellow unemployment line decorations yet, at the Water Cooler? You have?? Lucky. Well then surely you remember the part where...

Rumsfeld Put Creepy Bible Quotes On Military Intelligence Briefings

Oh hey has everyone seen that GQ article by the perpetually awesome Robert Draper about how completely insane the Defense Department went under the crazed leadership of lilliputian despot Donald Rumsfeld? GOOD GOLLY, as Rumsfeld would say. Let's see, so...

Who Will Be Obama’s Token Republican Cabinet Member?

Our nation's Presidents have a long and glorious history of promising "bipartisan healing" and such when it comes to Cabinet appointments. They say they will appoint members of the opposition party to important positions and then they give some...