Tag: secret service

There. Are. No. God. Damn. Trump. Comey. Tapes. (Unless There Are, In Which Case There Are!)

Donald Trump thinks running the most powerful country in the world is a fucking reality show.

Trump’s Bodyguard Also Too Very Good At Leaking Everybody’s Secrets!

Guys, they're really just not good at this stuff. Any of it.

BREAKING! Trump To Live In Same Zip Code As Wife And Young Son!

The Trumps have picked a school for Barron. It sounds very nice!

Lazy Trump Already Gone For Weekend, Because He Doesn’t DO Fridays

Imagine if he had Hillary Clinton's work ethic. Wait no, don't imagine that.

Trump Knows What Women Want! Your Wonkagenda for Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Trump has a spot for the ladies, TrumpCare rides again (again), and Hannity throws another tantrum. Your morning news brief!

Jason Chaffetz Sure He’s As Clean As A Whistle, Because Of All These Enemas (He Said That)

How could Jason Chaffetz POSSIBLY have a secret scandal, when there are so many people cleaning out his butt every day?

TrumpCare Back? Back Again?! Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 6, 2017

Congress trashes TrumpCare, Trump dumps Bannon, and Valdimir Putin HATES being called a gay clown! Your morning news brief!

Is Trump Grifting The Secret Service? Gonna Just Assume ‘Yes’

Saving so much money by making other people pick up the tab.

Devin Nunes Can’t Shut Up! Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 23, 2017

Republicans struggle to understand healthcare, the Secret Service begs for more money, and the Wingnut-o-sphere is spinning out of control. Your morning News Brief!

Craven Dicksnot Rep. Jason Chaffetz CAN’T WAIT To Investigate Obama’s ‘Wire Tapp’ On Trump!

Jason Chaffetz needs to go feast on a bag of dicks.

Uncle Sam Loves Donald Trump So Much He’s Paying Him For His Vacations

Donald Trump's dream vacations are the stuff of Washington's feverish nightmares.

Trump’s First Days In Office Were Epic F*ck Show, And We Can’t Stop LOLing

Also everybody hates Kellyanne Conway and she's been getting death threats, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.

Obama Plays Freebird! Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 18, 2017

Betsy DeVos hates bears, Ryan Zinke wants to hunt with Smokey the Bear, and Obama is getting everyone off. Your morning news brief!

Tucker Carlson Promoted At Fox News For Being World’s Worst Human

Failing upward, that is what this is called.

Finally, A Way To Send Donald Trump A Bunch Of Pussy!

At last, a holiday gift Trump will love so much!