Tag: scandal

Nikki Haley Was Through With Your Shit Five Minutes Ago

Larry Kudlow is VERY SORRY for saying Nikki Haley is a silly dumb lady who gets confused all the time.
Gonna fuck you up!

Robert Mueller Hires World’s Most Badass Lawyer For Trump-Russia Team. Again. Wonder Why!

This Trump-Russia shit is probably bigger than we ever imagined.

Daily Mail Pretty Sure Black Dude Caused Grenfell Fire, Not The Long-Known Fire Hazards

The Daily Mail is FAR TOO GOOD for Occam.

Michigan Officials Charged With Poisoning People To Death In Flint. Good.

WONKERS! WONKERS WE HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR ONCE! IT IS A NICE TIME! OK so you remember how we live in just the greatest nation in the world and we are a shining city on a hill and also we are...

Wikileaks Now Featuring Hottest Recipes From Devil Hillary Clinton’s Kitchen

EXCLUSIVE LEAKED EMAILS show Clinton campaign chair makes an absolutely bitchin' risotto.
The candy is my penis

Huzzah! Finally, A Nice Sleazeball Sex Scandal To Lighten Things Up, Whew!

Gosh, it seems like FOREVER since yr Wonkette has gotten to DC-gossip about some legislator getting his ween where it don't belong, so thanks, Tennessee! The Volunteer State served up a doozy of a point-and-laugh experience late last week, when...

Hillary’s Veep Revealed, And It Is Beyoncé! Your Weekly Dance Party

You come listen to all these songs RIGHT NOW, because Vice President Beyoncé said so.
This is what Ted Cruz looks like when he begs for money.

Is Ted Cruz Adulterous Foreign-Born Whore? Maybe!

People, we may have to issue a correction here. We reported at you this morning that Ted Cruz had, for the first time in his life, growed himself a dick. Of course, we meant that in the sense that...

Ben Carson: Running For President Is Haaaaard

Ben Carson sat down with the Washington Post a couple days before Christmas to let them know running for president isn't the nonstop party train of fun the average American might assume it is. But even though he's been...
He's crying because he's a LOSER.

David Vitter Trashed Like A Soiled Didy In Louisiana Governor’s Race

The David Vitter Era, if there ever was such a thing, is over. The rightwing senator from Louisiana was flushed away like so much doody in the state's runoff election for Governor Saturday, losing to Democrat John Bel Edwards...

Duggars To Announce New Jesus-Approved Boning Rituals Very Soon!

Oh, what a wonder it is, as your 19 children barely reach the age of sexual maturity and you set to the task of finding arranged marriage Christian diddle-sex partners for them, so they may each have 19 children...
Was there any other picture we could have used?

Why Dumbass Republicans Want To Impeach IRS For Doing Nothing Wrong: A Wonksplainer

Remember how we reported that the Department of Justice determined the IRS DID NOT harass teabagging morans, despite the lies of Darrell Issa & Co? We’ve known this has been a non-scandal for YEARS (proof here and here), but...
What is she hiding? WHAT IS SHE HIDING?

Hillary Clinton Apologizes For Whatever It Was She Did While Being Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton apologized Tuesday for having used a private email server while she was secretary of state, acknowledging in an interview with ABC News, “As I look back at it now, even though it was allowed, I should have...
We don't really think Rep. Gamrat is a 1940s Messican lady

Teabagger Fornicator Writes Million Words About Jesus, No Words About Resigning

Hey, guys, just in case you spent your whole weekend worrying whether Michigan state Rep. Todd Courser -- the teabagger who had an affair with fellow teabagging legislator Cindy Gamrat and then plotted to cover it up with a fake smear...