Tag: san antonio

One Year Later. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 16, 2018

Michael Cohen's got a BIG problem, it's military warehouses for kids at the border, and the #Vagenda claims another big victory. Your morning news brief.

Austin Bomber May Or May Not Be White Supremacist Dickhole But We’re Guessing He Is

What's a little domestic terrorism between friends?

Trump ICE Thug Wants To Deport Jerry Brown — Get This, For *Human Trafficking*

The 'lock 'em up!' list just keeps getting longer and longer.

Texas GOP Once Again Free To Fuck Houston In Ass, Now That TV Cameras Are Gone

BREAKING: Texas Republicans are some heartless sumbitches!
To be fair, Sipowicz only did that to a Mafia guy, who was askin' for it.

Nice Time? San Antonio Fired Cop Who Fed Homeless Guy Poo? Er … Sure, ‘Nice’ Time!

It's really not true that if you have more bread, you eat less shit. The ratio is different, but it's the same amount of shit.

Wonkagenda: Wednesday, October 12, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

San Antonio District Attorney Will Put Vaccines IN JAIL!

God bless ye, gentle readers, and welcome once more to the Snake Oil Bulletin! This week we have a virulent case of Dumb Pox spreading around, so do be sure to take precautions. Drink plenty of bleach, snort all...
If only they'd built a YOOGE classy wall to keep Columbus out

Bigots Weep As Oklahoma Town Murders Christopher Columbus

Congrats to Anadarko, Oklahoma (population 6,762), the first municipality in that state to celebrate today as Indigenous Peoples' Day instead of Columbus Day, thanks to a City Council resolution passed unanimously in September. The proclamation was formally signed by...
The schadenfreude is almost as fun as the equality.

Wingnut Texas AG Has Hilarious, Beautiful Meltdown Over Gay Marriage

You know how toddlers do sometimes when they skip their naps and the simplest perceived slight turns into a 30-minute-long RAGER of a screaming, crying temper tantrum? Well, that is what is happening to Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton...
If you'd planned better, you wouldn't have gotten old.

Congratulations, Texas! No Way Will This 101-Year-Old Lady Do Vote Fraud Now!

San Antonio, Texas, just elected its first African-American mayor, Interim Mayor Ivy Taylor. That's really exciting news, and while we don't know how 101-year old Mary Lou Miller planned to vote, she sure wishes her vote could have counted....

Christian Texas Lady Thinks Religious Freedom Protects Her Right To Feed The Homeless, AS IF

Texas takes its religious-flavored freedoms VERY SERIOUSLY, as we know. Sometimes, anyway. For important things like gay-hatin' and slut-shamin' and gun-totin' and prisoner-executin'. But Joan Cheever of San Antonio has some CRAZY idea that she should have the freedom to...
so brave

Militia Boys Havin’ A Good Ol’ Time Keeping The Border Safe From Eight-Year-Olds, Yeehaw

From the San Antonio Express-News, we have a photo update on the Great Big Militia Border Protection Jamboree, which appears to have actually drawn a few manly men with manly guns, albeit a touch short of the 20,000...

Texas Gun Fondlers Take Toys, Go Home After Lady In Restaurant Calls Them Dumbasses

The poor oppressed gun fondlers in the San Antonio chapter of Open Carry Texas just can't seem to get the respect they deserve. In San Antonio, the poor dears were asked to leave a Sonic and a Chili's after...

New Wingnut Fear: UN Will Seize The Alamo, Take Guns, Murder Freedom & Cancel Christmas

Here's your Conspiracy Theory du jour: the Wingnuttosphere is buzzing with warnings that the United Nations is on the verge of taking over the Alamo, that sacred symbol of freedom and resistance to tyranny (especially Messicans and Obama) in...

Which Gay One-Legged Iraq War Veterans Are We Booing In San Antonio Today?

My my, San Antonio, you certainly are getting "Wonkette famous" this morning! First we listened to that fun secret recording of Councilwoman Elisa Chan's staff trying to figure out how to keep their thoughts on dog-marrying and cat-marrying from...

Listen To A Bunch Of Idiots On San Antonio Councilwoman’s Staff Try To Figure Out: What Makes A Gay?

San Antonio Councilwoman Elisa Chan just does not understand these disgusting teh gheyz and their gay sex in the butt and why they should adopt the children and other things, because seeing two women kissing confuses the childrens and...