Tag: rob ford

World’s Greatest Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Goes To That Great Crack House In The Sky

Aw man, here's some sad news from our neighbor to the north. The world's greatest mayor of all time ever, at least in Toronto, is dead at the age of 46, from his 18-month battle with a rare and particularly...
Mile High Club

Spirit Airlines Will 69 You In The Sky, Wingnut Outrage To Commence Shortly

The budget carrier Spirit Airlines is having a celebration, and they want YOU to come 69 the friendly skies with them, doesn't that sound like a hot thing you want to cross of your bucket list? They are doing...

Your Morning Inspiration, With America’s Favorite Canadian Crack-smoking Mayor

So, for the sake of whatever "context" this work of art may need: Rob Ford, the soon-to-be-former (crack-smoking) mayor of Toronto, Canadiastan, skipped out on two mayoral debates this week, and instead went campaigning door-to-door in suburban Toronto. At...

Rob Ford Bobbleheads, Jon Stewart Hates Himself And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Your three-day weekend is over. Back to work, everyone. Also, don't forget to not wear white. (Because it's after Labor Day, see? Get it? GET IT?) You know you want one: President Obama said "immigration rights." Time’s Zeke Miller noted that during...

Rob Ford, Quitter

This took long enough. Majestic hoser Rob Ford, mayor of Toronto and the greatest reality TV star the world has ever known, announced last night he would take a leave of absence from his job of embarrassing himself and...

Rob Ford Announces Reelection Campaign; Free Crack Rocks For All!

As a gift to comedy, performance artist/Toronto Mayor Rob Ford announced Thursday night that he's running for another term. "I’m running on my record and my record is second to none," Ford said at the Toronto Congress Centre. "I'm...

We Heard Rob Ford Was Getting Arrested For Murder, But Apparently He Is Just A Jailhouse Shotcaller

Is anyone really surprised it would come to this? Surely the very special After School Special cautionary tale that is the life of Rob Ford had only a couple possible endings, all of which involved jail or death or...

Rob Ford Has Entered Full Andy Kaufman Mode

A new video of performance artist/Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has surfaced; in the video, reportedly taken Monday night at a Toronto fast-food establishment, the very drunk mayor rambles and says many swears in both English and in Jamaican patois....

Rob Ford Briefly Calls For Pot Legalization, Walks It Back, Trips Over End Table, Falls Asleep On Floor

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford called on Canada's government to decriminalize marijuana Thursday, but later said nah, nevermind, forget it, bad idea you know, he must have been totally wasted to have suggested anything of the sort, and are you...

Anderson Cooper, Dan Savage, Anderson Cooper’s Mom, And Some Cunnilingus (No Verb Necessary)

In what may be the best -- at least the weirdest -- ripple effect of the Rob Ford strange-o-palooza, here are Anderson Cooper and Friend of Wonkette Dan Savage talking Thursday about the best news stories of 2013...until the...

Follow The Always Sound Voice Of Rob Ford This Christmas And Give Us A Pile Of Money

It will come as no surprise that we are looking to Rob Ford for a lot of advice this holiday season. Whether it be knocking down coworkers on camera (again, sorry Dok!) or threatening to kill someone with our...

Rob Ford Dances With Church Choir, Looks Exactly As White As You’d Expect

Here is video of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's visit Sunday to the West Toronto Church of God, just doing what almost all white politicians are required to do at some point: dancing very badly in the presence of black...

Rob Ford Tires Of George Zimmerman Getting All The Attention, Knocks Down Old Lady On Camera

Sorry George Zimmerman, but the news spotlight is a fickle thing. Sure, you may have just been arrested in a domestic disturbance -- no bail permitted -- but did you knock down an old lady on camera? Welp, Toronto...

Rob Ford, Who Did Not Have Culinary Relations With That Lady’s Va-Jay-Jay, Gets TV Show Of Course

What do you do when you're a crack-smoking, vodka-guzzling, minority-bashing, homicide-threatening, self-admitted "sick motherfucker," soon-to-be-former mayor of Toronto, who has been politely asked to consider taking a leave of absence to go sit in the corner wearing a dunce...

Secret Service Ruining Blowvember With Creepy Hotel Antics

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, people, you keep getting Blowvember all wrong. First, CBS tries to co-opt it by blowing every news story it reports on. And now the Secret Service is being super-creepy with the ladies, according...

How Is Barack Obama Ruining America’s Perfect Health Care Delivery System Today?

Caving to the incoherent spittle-filled demands of Republicans -- especially Texas Rep. Steve Stockman -- that Obama rewrite Obamacare but without rewriting Obamacare and take personal responsibility for personally writing bad code for the Obamacare websites, personally, the president...