Tag: rnc st. paul

Happy 2008 Republican National Convention Anniversary

You know what your Wonkette was doing one year ago, exactly? We were in St. Paul, watching the first of Sarah Palin's national scandals unfold. So fun! Plus, there was a hurricane, to kill more poor and/or black people...

HA HA HA WE MET THIS GUY IN ST. PAUL: This dude Tim was walking around The Liffey telling everybody about his great idea to start a fundraising site for Barack Obama's brother in Kenya, and Ken kept asking...

Last Call At The Liffey: Good-Bye RNC St. Paul

Because it's Video Day at Wonkette (how did that happen?), let's watch what happens when the editors of Reason, Utne Reader, your Wonkette writers and friends, and a random funny Ron Paul fanatic from Boston meet again in a...

GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ST. PAUL: "The Republican convention was a neat, quaint operation. Nobody expected anything flashy or fun or interesting, and nobody expected any answer to America's economic and military collapse beyond an oft-told 40-year-old shaggy dog tale...

Andrea Mitchell Nearly Killed By John McCain’s War Balloons

Here is the highlight of John McCain's big acceptance speech extravaganza last night: that time Andrea Mitchell was nearly murdered in a sneak balloon attack, and all of her supposed "friends" on the MSNBC coolly mocked her and called...

Good-Bye Forever, St. Paul (and Minneapolis)

We loved you, Minnesota. You were nice. Your convention ran as smooth as a "Tuna Hot Dish," which is apparently what you eat here, in your secret homes. But now we are at the Airport Service Center, in Concourse...

Green Screen Behind McCain Actually Lawn of, Uh, Middle School In, Uh, North Hollywood

America laughed again last night as a terrible "green screen" once again appeared behind John McCain, during his big speech at the RNC. Well, the "green" was actually the lawn of a school in North Hollywood, California. And the...

McCain Nomination Greeted By Economic Collapse

Here are the current Top Headlines at Bloomberg: Payrolls in U.S. Fall More Than Forecast; Jobless Rate at Five-Year High Mortgage Foreclosures in U.S. Rise at Fastest Pace in Almost Three Decades U.S. Stocks Decline After Unemployment Rate Unexpectedly Increases to 6.1% Merrill...

Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Hurricanes

Good Morning, America! Did you love your two weeks of political conventions and soaring (or lame) rhetoric? No? Well, Allah has a treat for you! A million more hurricanes are headed to America, to kill everyone. Hanna will destroy...

THAT'S ALL, MY FRIENDS: The balloon sausages shall drop from the ceiling, and then it will take five-and-a-half years to get out of here because of the total failure of security.

Liveblogging The End Of John ‘Walnuts’ McCain’s Address To Outer Space

All we see is some old man with a big green screen behind him. *Hopefully* this isn't what the McCain people decided would be a good idea, which it wouldn't, for the second time. Oh God now the screen...

Liveblogging John McCain at the RNC!

It is sad to think we will never be here again, at the Xcel Center Hockey Rink, in St. Paul of Minnesota. Ha ha, just kidding. We are so ready to get the living hell out of here! Do...

Liveblogging Cindy McCain And The Talking Motion Picture About John S. McCain’s FIVE AND A HALF YEARS In Vietnamese Maverick Cauldron

John McCain was a prisoner of war once, which automatically qualified him for every job ever invented, including haberdasher, whale scientist, and sex toy engineer. Let's see how many people in this biographical film say, "That's offensive!" when they...

Special RNC Stage Could Not Be More Phallic

That's former Senator Bill Frist you see speaking on tonight's redesigned RNC stage, with a lovely projection of the African plains at dusk as his backdrop. You know what else is a projection? The massive black cock on which...

WISDOM IN THE EMAILS: "Wonkette-rs: Just wanted to point out the incredibly flawed logic of the Republican Party staging the final night of their convention -- AND the all-important speech by their nominee -- on the same night as...

More Speeches You Don’t Care About, Before You See Them On TeeVee

Welcome to the last night of this horrid week, which started with a hurricane and ends with an old man struggling to read a teleprompter -- an American Journey, really. Anyway, your entire Wonkette Team is here, at the...